By Abby Bly
Featured image from: https://www.brit.co/valentines-lollipops/
Follow Me on Instagram: abby_bly
Does anyone else remember being in grade school during V-day? It was fun getting to put together your cute valentine’s box.. until you didn’t find a piece of candy from your crush at the end of the parade. We’re taught from such a young age that Valentine’s Day is all about receiving recognition from someone we admire. So, we can’t blame ourselves too much for being disappointed spending February 14th alone.
Don’t get me wrong, I love any excuse to celebrate life and love, so what better excuse than Valentine’s day? But there were times when I wish someone had told me that the best way to fall in love is to fall in love with yourself.
Nowadays, my top priorities are working hard, reaching my goals, and taking care of myself. I’m so grateful to have my now boyfriend, who is so supportive of my dreams and accompanies me in life. But truthfully, things wouldn’t have fallen into place like they did had I spent much time focusing on my insecurities rather than my passions and self love.
Whether you’re in a relationship or not, I have some great Valentine’s day rituals that will help you to start your journey of self love!
Valentine’s Day Self Love Guide 2019
1. If you want roses, buy roses!
And this doesn’t mean just on Valentine’s day- roses carry a high vibration that can uplift your energy vibration just by having them in your space. Plus, with all of the flowers, candy, and gifts surrounding us during this time of year, why not just splurge a little on yourself? You don’t need a man to buy you these things in order for Valentines day to “count”. The gifts don’t have to be typical, either, if that’s not what you’re into. The point is to treat yourself- order takeout or cook your favorite meal, put your favorite shows and/or movies on, buy that pair of shoes you’ve had your eye on. Do something that shows appreciation for yourself and makes you happy!
2. Self Care
I know self care is different for everyone, but pampering yourself is a good way to start. My routine consists of running a hot bath with some Lush products, putting on a face mask, shaving my legs, moisturizing, etc. because it’s so comforting to me. If that’s not really your style, maybe curling up in bed with a good book and some tea sounds more like your scene. Whatever calms and centers you- start there!
As someone who’s struggled with anxiety and self image, it’s clear that self care doesn’t stop at doing a face mask or having down time. It all goes back to loving yourself, so maybe now’s the perfect time to find that therapist or life coach that you know you need, but haven’t taken the time to schedule. The other thing about Valentine’s Day is that it comes once a year, but you should set the intention to love yourself always!
3. Valentine’s Ritual
This Valentine’s Day ritual will help you set the intention of self love. I love doing stuff like this too because it keeps me inspired and motivated! I recommend the following items:
- A candle
- 3 pieces of paper & a pen
- Your favorite rose quartz
- To start, light your candle, hold your rose quartz in your hand, and take a few moments to meditate. For beginners, meditation may last only 3-5 minutes, but may be longer for others. Meditate for as long as you can/need! Take a few deep breaths, and try to think of a few things you’re thankful for. A tip I learned from Jen Cincero is to stare at the candle flame rather than closing your eyes, if this works better for you.
- After meditating, begin with your first sheet of paper, and write down 5 personal goals. These could be, “To love myself more”, “To take better care of my body” etc.
- On the second sheet of paper, write down 5 new good habits that will help you to reach each of your 5 goals. These could be, “I’m going to tell myself I look beautiful each morning before work”, “I’m going to drink 60oz of water per day”
- On the third sheet of paper, write down 5 bad habits that you’re going to stop doing in order to reach your new goals. These could be, “I’m no longer going to say things like ‘I’m not pretty'”, “I’m not going to have soda with lunch anymore”
- Now, take your sheet of “bad habits” and tear it up, disposing of the papers however you wish
- Put the new goals and good habits somewhere you’ll see them each day to remind yourself
That’s it! It’s a simple ritual, but it will help you to identify new goals, strengths, and barriers that may be standing in your way. Rose quartz is the stone of the heart, so it’s perfect to accompany you in your self love ritual this V-day. I also like having the candle simply for relaxation and aromatherapy!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Whatever you do this Valentine’s day, make sure it involves a little self love. Happy V-day, beautiful!